I take the train because I hate traffic more than I do the people in the train. I can generally turn up my tunes and block out the other people. I know others, mainly a coworker with similar life experiences to mine, who are completely the opposite than I am. But anyways. Here I am thinking I have a great handle on things when it comes to strangers and being in public….
Then I make an attempt to ride the train this morning. I knew before hand that the train would be crowded. Thanks to a fire in NYC some tracks were closed and trains were operating on a limited schedule. Don’t like that. As you can tell from the photo, that was what awaited me on the platform when I got to the train station. Still, I thought I was good to go and I waited in the crowd to get on the train. Still doing okay. Train arrives. Train, my normal train that I take every day, is packed to the gills with people. I still got this. I follow the crowd onto the train like a herd of penguins.
Hmmm. People are standing in the isles. No open seats. Wait…is that people standing in the bathroom? I am starting not like this. Turn the music up and let’s pretend all these people aren’t here. Hey, look… The doors are closing. I no longer like this. I need to get off the train. I cannot get off the train. People on the way. Getting off in between stations is probably frowned upon. I guess I’m going to Bridgeport. I can make it one stop. Then I will call and get a ride and then drive to work. Forget this stupid insanity.
“Attention all passengers, due to overcrowding this is now an express train to South Norwalk….blah blah blah…”
Umm. Okay so I’m stuck in this insanity until South Norwalk? This may not end well but at least is close enough to to work.
“For all those needing local stops to blah blah blah a new train is leaving the yard in Bridgeport and will be a few minutes behind this train and will stop in blah blah blah..”
I am getting the heck of this train in Bridgeport. If there are not people on the next train, I’ll take it to work.
That gibberish is only a fraction of what was going they my mind this morning. I do not want to be near people I don’t know today. I do not want to ride the train today. Probably not tomorrow either. I do not like the train right now. I do not want to like the train tomorrow either.
Some positive that I can take away from this mornings unpleasant adventures is that I seem to have developed a willingness to try things I know would likely cause issues and trigger certain thoughts and behaviors. I also learned I know when the previous statement was a bad idea and it’s time to get the heck out of dodge. 15 minutes of pure insanity nearly made me go crazy.