Who am I?

I won’t apologize for who I have come to be because who the hell am I if I can’t be me. So who am I?  I have been asking myself that question for a while now and I am disappointed that I do not know the answer.  I know what I feel like on a […]

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Some way, some how, somebody is sorry

It is all really simple at this point. We both played our parts. We both made our mistakes but after the fact, everything that happened can be broken down into a few lines of writing. There are things that I know now but never could have put my finger on then. I thought that this […]

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My Friend, My PTSD

Who know that my friendship with someone would ultimately lead to my PTSD. Over the course of the first seven years of my time in the Navy my career pretty much paralleled someone who became a close friend. While stationed at our last duty station together, he was lost at sea in a plane crash […]

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The last year…

Maybe it’s because it is raining outside or the particular music playing in my headphones on this train ride, or maybe it is an upcoming anniversary that looming in the distance that has me looking back in things. I could sit here and write a generally negative piece about all the bad things that have […]

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A glimpse into my mind

Today I am fighting the urge to run away to the wilderness and avoid life all together. Life is peaceful without the interaction with other human beings. It is not uncommon for a veteran plagued with PTSD to desire a solitary life in the mountains. I think the Adirondack Mountain’s is the ideal locale for […]

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Happy 4th

Seem to have a lot on my mind tonight. Not really sure why to be honest. Had a relaxing weekend. Went away on a mini vacation to Mystic. Had a small family gathering Sunday and got to spend extra time with my boys this weekend. So why am I anxious? Why is my mind in […]

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When do you draw the line?

When do you draw the line between something that matters in your mind but in reality, is none of your business at this point? If you decide to draw the line, where is it? What portions of your internal monologue get repeated and what portions do you continue to keep to yourself? There are things in […]

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Crowded Train = BAD

I take the train because I hate traffic more than I do the people in the train. I can generally turn up my tunes and block out the other people. I know others, mainly a coworker with similar life experiences to mine, who are completely the opposite than I am. But anyways. Here I am […]

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Untitled Post about stuff

When you start doubting yourself, remember how far you have come. Remember everything that you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.” – Unknown When I first started this reconstruction journey I was hesitant to try medication for a couple of reasons. Reason number one was that […]

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Waging War against the Black Hole

So I actually have stuff that I would like to write about and I want to do so mainly to get them the heck out of my head. But… I cannot. So I must find something else to write about. I need to find some other topic that would not offend anyone. One would assume […]

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